Miu

I've just finished with what was arguably one of the most difficult tasks in my 40 (almost 41) years of life, properly burying my cat Miu.

Miu passed away several years ago and I simply did not have the hart to bury her.  Instead I placed her in a cardboard box and put the box in the garage freezer that we really don't use.  I thought maybe it would be easier to wait and bury her after some time had passed.

I was wrong.

I've been wanting to defrost the freezer and throw out what little was in there, but that box has been holding me back.  Our backyard has this small section that is protected by a weird 1.5' wall that was probably put up to allow for a small flower garden next to the fence.  The dog doesn't like jumping over that obstacle and it is clearly visible from the bedroom and the spot that Miu loved to spend hours staring out the window.

Digging the hole was easy.  Getting the box out of the freezer was easier than expected.  Burying my cat was unbelievably hard.  Carolyn thought I should just bury the box (so I wouldn't have to see her), but I couldn't do that to her.  She deserved to be buried on her own and I had to stroke her fur one last time.  To my surprise she looked exactly like she did when I put her in the box so many years ago.  Her fur was still soft and all I could think about was how she died alone and how I couldn't be there for her.

Miu is properly buried now, but she is far from gone.  I miss her all the time.

I feel better now that she's in the ground and I'll feel a little better when I plant some flowers over her.