This One Time, at the Strip Club....

 

I recently shared this old story from back in my Air Force days and thought, for better or for worse, I should share here because, wel reasons.

Back when I had but one stripe to lose and was stationed at Ft Lewis someone discovered an ad in the paper for some rather busty bimbo making the rounds appearing at the local Deja Vue. The ad had little more than a headshot and the copy stating "THEY'RE HUGE!!!", which became our catch-phrase for the week.

Friday rolls around and since we're paying a buck or two to wear civvies it is decided that we should have a unit luncheon at Deja Vue (THEY'RE HUGE!!!) as they have a free lunch buffet. I'm one of the guys eating his shitty lunch just off of the stage and then "She" comes out. They were rather large and nice, but definitely not "huge" in the comical way some are today. She was damn fine though.

After reverse motorboating one of my brothers, and totally fucking up his glasses, she drags out this little kiddie pool and proceeds to strip and pour a pitcher or water slowly over her body. She's only wearing a lei and a smile. Good times. As part of her routine she flicks some water on some of us. I motion "bring it on" and she tosses some more water at me. Another hand motion and she just empties the pool back into the pitcher, pours it all over me (definitely not as hot as when she did it the 1st time). Then she kisses me on the cheek and gives me her lei.

I remember getting back to the shop and rolling out of someone else's car shouting out to the unit, "I GOT LEI'D!!!".....yeah, it ends up the unit had some VIPs, including some female officers, visiting the unit and it was quickly decided that my ass had to be hidden away for a spell.

Later that evening another brother, Mike, and I go back to the club....why not, my admission from lunch was still good. We see her evening show and Mikey pays for a picture with her, then we stay for some other strip-shows.

Now Mike had this one interesting....peculiarity(?) he had which was that he was convinced that beautiful women were always checking him out. While we're sitting in the middle of the room having a beer and watching this hot blonde strip he starts up (again). "Dude...she's totally checking me out." Sure Mike....sure. After a bit more of this I'm at least humoring him and no shit, it does look like she's paying him waaaaay too much attention. I remember thinking just how painful this attention is going to be for future me, especially when her set ends and holy f##k....she's coming to our table.....

.....Where she totally ignores Mike to talk with me! I got a couple free lap dances and an invitation for a private show, which I got for about half the going rate. Now I've never been so conceited to think anything other than I was her mark of choice for the moment and I'm sure I left the club with no money in my wallet, but to be able to put Mike in his place back then and to remind him almost 30 years later......well worth it!