August 14, 2011

"Stupid" Signs

I used to travel....a lot.  My eights years in the Air Force were with one of the highest TDY career fields (I recently read 3rd in that regard with 114 days per year).  My last job had me on the road enough that I managed to earn Platinum status with Marriott, which requires 75 night stays a year.

One thing I like to do when I'm out and about is record what I see as stupid signs.  I've had quite a few from all over the place.  I try to take a picture when I can.  When cleaning out my files I found a small cache of them.  There were more, but I don't know what happened to them.  Oh well.  At least I can share some here.

When visiting Salt Lake City, Utah we came across a bunch of spray-painted signs.  These things were everywhere.  I'm not pro/con Jesus here, but the simple addition of a "H" turning "Trust" to "Thrust" was more stupid than funny.  There were a few more modified signs, but the pictures were a bit fuzzy.

This wonderful sign was on the back of a double-door at an institute of higher learning.  I won't embarrass anybody by stating where that school is, but the staff could use another English 101.

This winning sign was found duct-taped onto a traffic control box.  I'm not sure it is legible in this picture, but the text reads, "I've been thinking about getting an acupuncture treatment, but I'm not sure how it works.  If you know an acupuncturist, meet me here at 4PM on Monday. -Glen"  OK, some guy named Glen wants to learn about acupuncture, that I get, but you want to slap up a random sign and expect someone to meet with you?  How long has this sign been up?  Does this guy have more than one sign?  What does he do, flit from sign to sign every Monday around 4 PM to see if anyone shows up?

Traffic signs are always interesting.  I found two wonderful speed limit signs in Chattanooga, TN.

Nothing funnier than seeing a "parking violation" citation issued by the local mall cops.....on a mall cop vehicle.

This isn't a sign so much, but it definitely is stupid.  Who drives around in a van that practically screams "pedophile"?  The only thing that could make this even creepier would be if it was parked outside the Toy-R-Us instead of Cabelas.

OK, again, not so much a stupid sign as signage.  Possibly even brilliant signage.  Placing the Axe body cologne next to the condom display is probably a stroke of genius.  To bad it is most likely completely random.  I used to work at this store and the Axe display was probably simply assigned to "Wing Panel X".  Different stores have slightly different layouts and not every Wing Panel is next to the same selection of product.

I like this "no fishing from this spot" sign because....well, let me ask you, "Would you like to go fishing from this spot?" I wouldn't.  Heck, a few feet on either side of this sign is pretty bad as well.  Personally I would fish from the side of this pond as even if you had a clear cast you'd be restricted on what you could access.  Clearly a stupid sign since you couldn't fish from that spot if you wanted to.

 A bit of a head-scratcher here on the menu for a local Oktoberfest.  Frankly I could care less what they do with the money for the food I buy at the Oktoberfest.  If they charge too much I won't buy some anyway.  One big question for me is why the Scottish-American Athletic Association is benefiting from an Oktoberfest.  There isn't a German-American Association?

Another one of those dumbfounding pictures.  I bought some oranges from the local store and imagine my surprise when I notice they've been endorsed by my Alma Mater.  Those other oranges on the shelf must be really crappy if they couldn't get a Boise State endorsement.  The BSU Athletic Association should definitely have the inside scoop on quality since the school colors are Blue & Orange.

My wife and I get a laugh every time we drive through East Dubuque on our way to Galena or Chicago.  There is a decent-sized liquor store on the outside of town named "Family Beer & Liquor".  Don't get me wrong, it is a good store, just the name is a bit much.  I've always wanted to know what color wine goes with Strained Peas & Carrots for the baby.  All kidding aside, it's just the thought of a beer and liquor store being a "family store" that I find amusing.  I see some ACA meetings in the future of those kids who do utilize this family store on a regular basis.

21Sep11 Edit: I found a couple of other signs when I was browsing my Twitpic account.  I found this in an airplane lavatory.  I had a second pic of an ashtray just below the "No Smoking" sign, but I couldn't find it.  At least on this flight I can get drinks in the can.......laugh when you get it.

This was from the Warner Brothers Studio Commissary.  I just found it funny because of the date stamp.  Was there really any concern that this salad might be mistaken for fresh in 51 weeks?

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